I guess it's fair to say that 2011 was a year of transition for me. Although I would also say that about 2010... and even for 2009. In fact, I think it's pretty fair to say that since I returned from China at the tail end of 2008 and moved to Los Angeles the beginning of 2009, that these last three years have been one transition after another. A lot of big changes happened in my life - some for the better and some definitely for the worst. Of course it's all relative, but for me the past 3 years, I very rarely found myself in a place where I felt I had a handle on the things going on around me. I would try to put my focus on the things that I did, but ultimately I was being faced with all those "adult" things that everyone eventually faces in their life - Loss being one the greatest. I also had some wonderful good happen, and those shouldn't be overshadowed. I fell in love. I moved to LA. I took the next step towards what I am planning on being the setup for the rest of my life. I found my voice as an artist. I am in the process of owning that voice. But just as much as all of that, I've suffered through a lot of loss. Loss of said relationship. Loss of my Grandfather. Loss of confidence in my direction. And constantly in a flux of feeling like I'm not entirely sure how to get myself out of the ruts I find myself in. What I do have going for me, is an openness for whatever comes next and the assurance that, no matter how crappy a day I may be having, that I'm still on the road to where I want to be. In the words of the great Shanley, "I guess this is something I just gotta exist through".
One of the biggest changes occurred right after I came back from Europe when my current residence was, unfortunately, being sold and it meant finding a new place to call home. I loved where I lived. I loved my roommates (they were indeed the best). And as much as I had talked about wanting my own place, financially that seemed like a very scary thing (did I mention loss of income and stability in the list above?). I had just decided to blow what little savings I had left on a trip to Europe. No regrets... but not exactly putting me in the best spot to put down deposits on a place that would also be higher in rent, no doubt. But, I took it as a sign that it was just time to make that step. To branch out, even relocate a bit. And wouldn't you know it, I'm talking less than a couple of weeks before I have to be out of my place, I find a spot in a vintage building in a great neighborhood in Hollywood, in my price range, and they take pets. I was able to paint it before I moved in (something I've never had time to do), and decided the only furniture I would be taking with me was my bookshelves and my mattresses. Everything else I wanted to furnish from second hand furniture - craigslist, flea markets, thrift stores. I wanted to create my own little nook, with unique pieces that would make Anthropologie jealous (and for a fraction of the cost).
I've been here 2 months and it's slowly, but surely coming together. I have a bed frame and a couch, a couple of nightstands that need painting and sanding. I'm still on the lookout for a desk and I need to buy material so I can make curtains and pillows for the couch. I found a great lamp at goodwill for $7. It's all coming together, and it's slowly staring to feel like the place I envisioned having when I always said I'd move out to LA. Just me, a studio apartment with a view of the Hollywood Sign, and a pug. So I guess it all comes around the way it's supposed to, even if the road you took to get there had a few more bumps than the shocks on your car were ready for.
