#56 Get My Own Place and Decorate It

I guess it's fair to say that 2011 was a year of transition for me. Although I would also say that about 2010... and even for 2009. In fact, I think it's pretty fair to say that since I returned from China at the tail end of 2008 and moved to Los Angeles the beginning of 2009, that these last three years have been one transition after another. A lot of big changes happened in my life - some for the better and some definitely for the worst. Of course it's all relative, but for me the past 3 years, I very rarely found myself in a place where I felt I had a handle on the things going on around me. I would try to put my focus on the things that I did, but ultimately I was being faced with all those "adult" things that everyone eventually faces in their life - Loss being one the greatest. I also had some wonderful good happen, and those shouldn't be overshadowed. I fell in love. I moved to LA. I took the next step towards what I am planning on being the setup for the rest of my life. I found my voice as an artist. I am in the process of owning that voice. But just as much as all of that, I've suffered through a lot of loss. Loss of said relationship. Loss of my Grandfather. Loss of confidence in my direction. And constantly in a flux of feeling like I'm not entirely sure how to get myself out of the ruts I find myself in. What I do have going for me, is an openness for whatever comes next and the assurance that, no matter how crappy a day I may be having, that I'm still on the road to where I want to be. In the words of the great Shanley, "I guess this is something I just gotta exist through".

One of the biggest changes occurred right after I came back from Europe when my current residence was, unfortunately, being sold and it meant finding a new place to call home. I loved where I lived. I loved my roommates (they were indeed the best). And as much as I had talked about wanting my own place, financially that seemed like a very scary thing (did I mention loss of income and stability in the list above?). I had just decided to blow what little savings I had left on a trip to Europe. No regrets... but not exactly putting me in the best spot to put down deposits on a place that would also be higher in rent, no doubt. But, I took it as a sign that it was just time to make that step. To branch out, even relocate a bit. And wouldn't you know it, I'm talking less than a couple of weeks before I have to be out of my place, I find a spot in a vintage building in a great neighborhood in Hollywood, in my price range, and they take pets. I was able to paint it before I moved in (something I've never had time to do), and decided the only furniture I would be taking with me was my bookshelves and my mattresses. Everything else I wanted to furnish from second hand furniture - craigslist, flea markets, thrift stores. I wanted to create my own little nook, with unique pieces that would make Anthropologie jealous (and for a fraction of the cost).

I've been here 2 months and it's slowly, but surely coming together. I have a bed frame and a couch, a couple of nightstands that need painting and sanding. I'm still on the lookout for a desk and I need to buy material so I can make curtains and pillows for the couch. I found a great lamp at goodwill for $7. It's all coming together, and it's slowly staring to feel like the place I envisioned having when I always said I'd move out to LA. Just me, a studio apartment with a view of the Hollywood Sign, and a pug. So I guess it all comes around the way it's supposed to, even if the road you took to get there had a few more bumps than the shocks on your car were ready for.

#47 Take a photo in a red phone booth

... and yet another post that corresponds with the ones below. Went to England during my European excursion and got my photo in the iconic red phone booth! Of course we got photos with the other iconic spots around London: the Globe, Tower of London, London Bridge, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, West End, every pub we passed on the street etc... but none that made me so happy as this. Well... our recreation of the Abbey Road cover was pretty awesome as well. So that gets honorable mention. Cheers :)

#22 Have a Conversation in French

This ties into the post below. Spent 7 days in France and, since I was the only one of us that spoke even a lick of French, found myself doing most of the conversing and loving it! I actually remembered more than I thought I did... although now it's as good as gone again. But I found that speaking the language really does change your experience there. People were helpful, nothing but nice, and man... can the French DRESS. Every morning I had a "cafe creme" and a "tarte de pomme" from the bakery down the street. We spent every day walking the streets of Paris, Monte Marte, and Seresne. Made the trip out to Versailles and even made sure to hit Disney Paris so I could get one step closer to another item on my list. 4 down... 1 to go.

Paris, Je t'aime.

#11: Visit France, #14: Visit England, #18 Visit Spain

I am way over due for updating this blog... I'll try to fit in as much as I can. I went to Europe in September for 3 weeks and in doing so checked off quite a few of my items. It was an incredible experience... 21 days with 2 of my best girlfriends seeing several sites and countries that I'd dreamed of seeing for as long as I can remember. Funny, I lived in China for a year... visited Beijing, Japan, the Philippines, and Thailand... all of which were trips that were just a "why the hell not" sort of experience. I love traveling, and if the opportunity came, I took it. But Europe was something I'd built up as being the one place I'd wanted to see and therefor was almost "special" in some way. I kept saving it for something... wanting to experience it when I was able to experience it in the utmost - some "magical" way. Particularly France, since I purposely took French for 2 years in college and considered majoring in communications just so I could move there, and Spain since that is where my family comes from. But I realized, I was holding out for something unspecific. For the idea of something that may or may not ever really come. The best time to go is when you can... and just like with most things in life, waiting for the "right" time.. holding out for that "perfect" moment, it just means you're letting opportunity pass you by. I've always been the type to just take advantage of opportunity when it comes my way. I don't regret being that way... it's awarded me some amazing experiences and people to come into my life. And I will say, I've been Lucky. But I'm making it a goal to try and seek out things I want as well - go after things with a bit more ambition. It may still be somewhat impulsive, but when I decided I wanted to go to Europe before the year's end, I was determined to make it happen. And it did. And in the words of the great Galinda (Galinda, with a Ga):, "I couldn't be happier" with the decision.

#69: Appear in Flashback Scenes for a Role

This may be an odd one, but seeming that I am in L.A. and pursuing a career as an actor, a lot of my list has to do with acting or performing of one facet or another. One of the things I have always wanted to play in a film (as morbid as it may seem) is the role of a deceased person who only appears in flashbacks or memories. Growing up, I always remember seeing movies where a character has passed and thinking how enjoyable it would be to have such a small part and yet have such a big impact on the story. For as little screen time as you have, you are still alluded to with pictures, objects, and the oh-so-cliche flashback scenes where the deceased is perfectly lit with soft focus and made to be ridiculously angelic. It seems they have this way of making the memories so beautiful and surrounded by so much emotion... and did I mention the soft focus? I'm all about that soft focus.

The photo is of actor James Hollis, who plays my grieving husband turned alcoholic (yeah... gotta always have one of those too). Film was shot on the RED camera, first time for that as well - damn... should have put that one on the list! I have yet to see any footage, nor can I guarantee I will get my moment in the "soft focus" of my dreams, but needless to say, this was a great little project and one that I am only acting in (which is a nice break since I have been actively producing for the past 8 months, both "Millie" and my latest project: a short film entitled "Piece" which is now in post). Now I can move on to #70: Play a Bad-Ass.

#16: Donate Unwanted Clothing

<~~ That would be the trunk of my car filled to the brim with old clothes, shoes, and miscellaneous garments. They are now being processed through the Good Will Donation Center and will hopefully find their way to a rack sometime soon. I was surprised I had so much to give away... but even more surprised to still have stuffed drawers and a full closet. I can honestly say, though, that my attachment to articles of clothing has waned. Shoes on the other hand... I still have shoes in boxes that I've never worn and refuse to give away. I guess I have to stay true to my sex in some ways.

Really, to justify even having this on the list, I should donate more than just once. But a girl's gotta start somewhere...

#32: Submit "Millie" to 5 festivals

So I may have shot a little low on this one, but never the less... the pilot for the series I wrote/produced entitled "Millie's 101 Things" has officially been submitted to more than 5 festivals! And to add more festival goodness to the fire, it has been selected as part of the Feel Good Film Festival happening this August in Los Angeles. Thank you Career Jar!

www.fgff.org

#65: Bake my first cake (or other magnificent pastry)

I hate to be the type of person that needs an occasion to do anything, but in this particular case, I couldn't think of a better occasion to check off one of my items: a birthday! And every birthday deserves a yummy treat to celebrate with. So in honor of Josh's day of birth, I made him a chiffon cake with strawberries and butter cream frosting - All from scratch! Of course it helps to have a roommate who happens to be a wiz in the baking department. But I am proud to say that the decorations adorning this very stylized cake was done by none other than yours truly. And for those of you who may have always pondered this... the Beatles font is called "bootle". Yeah, I never would have known that either. Thank the cake.

#50: Get back into regular acting class

Going back to a regular acting class is something I had been wanting to do, but fought with myself over for a variety of reasons. I got my Bachelor's in Theatre Performance... went to a performing arts high school... the "Training" portion of my resume is a mile long and yet, I'm still always searching for a class or somewhere to hone my abilities. Problem is, when the funds get tight, the first thing to go is usually the extra cariculars (I mean, we got to eat, don't we?). My first year in L.A. was rough. I didn't know anyone in "the business". I had no film and/or television credits (and still don't). And I didn't have the funds to keep up on a regular basis with any sort of acting class. On top of that, I was getting frustrated with myself that I didn't have the kind of confidence in my own ability to not need a class to go back to for that continual support/reassurance.

But then I took Larry Moss's acting workshop in December. It changed my life. If every acting class I had ever taken had been of this caliber, I would never have doubted my need/natural draw to be in a classroom environment. I realized that, even in a classroom, I have this unneccessary pressure to perform. I don't allow myself the room to learn... to grow... to be there for no one else but myself. To be honest with where I am at any given moment, to use what I have at any given moment, and to not worry about the judgement of my peers or even the teacher. But most importantly, to turn off the judgement I put on myself. It's important for me to have someplace safe and consistant to return to, because as Larry says, "It's from the work that you get your fulfillment. Do the work, and the rest will come".

So I'm back to doing the work. I still need help with the "business" side of things, but the best place to find like minded people to help you with your own journey are the ones who are paving the way alongside you.

#13: Adopt a Puppy!

I got a dog! And not just any dog, but a PUG! For those of you that know me, I have wanted a pug for forever... but I also knew I wanted to adopt and pugs are very rarely up for adoption. I've gone to the shelter probably a dozen times over the past year and never once have I seen a pug, let alone a young one.

Enter Lucy: a 1 year old female puglet who my good friend, Topher, told me was looking for a good home. A home that I wasn't really prepared to offer, but how could I say no? I had just lost my grandfather to cancer, and if ever I was in need of a friendly, love-able pooch, it was now. We've been inseparable ever since. <3

#4: Swim with Dolphins

Took a trip to Playa Del Carmen, Mexico with Josh's family in August. Spent 9 days enjoying the ocean, the sites, and all the cheese enchilladas a girl could handle (my favorite!). No really, I ate non-stop. But what was the highlight? Getting to cross this one off my list! Got to hang with Flipper's distant cousins for an afternoon.

#39: IN PROGRESS: Visit every Disneyland in the World

This is one of my favorite items on my list and, believe it or not, I've already gotten the most difficult ones out of the way! I went to Hong Kong Disney (the smallest of the bunch) a handful of times during my stay in Macau, China and made a trip to Tokyo Disney and Tokyo Disney Sea after that. I've never been to the grand daddy of all Disneylands, DisneyWORLD or Disney Paris... but I'm secretly saving the last one for my honeymoon. Any guy I marry will want to go to Europe and, consequently, Euro Disney or he ain't the one for me. Tall order, I know. We'll see who measures up in the end.